Interfaith Families Personal Stories of Jewish-Christian Intermarriage

Subjects:

• Religious Studies » Religious Studies (General)
• Women's Studies » Women's Studies (General)
• Family Resources » Child Care & Parenting

Reviews:

• [U]seful for intermarried couple and their parents is Kaplan's Interfaith Families; the author delivers more than 50 portraits of individuals and couples touched by intermarriage, and then steps out of the picture. "There were no experts who stepped in to comment on the material or to offer their interpretations," she writes....Kaplan's work provides a welcome opportunity to learn "the kinds of details only someone experiencing a situation firsthand could know.
  —Lilith Summer 2005
• [I]t is the candor of the stories that makes this an important resource for discussing intermarriage and conversion issues. This is not a book put together to show us how well things worked out once a decision was made to convert to Judaism or to create a Jewish household. It is obvious that conflicts often arise in interfaith marriages, even when one or both partners define themselves as "non-religious." It is also obvious that the pressure put on couples in these situations by their own families and clergy can be hurtful. Though in most cases the extended families came to accept the choices made by the couples involved, harm was done. This book makes us consider exactly what it is we mean when we talk about creating welcoming communities for interfaith families....Kaplan has helped us to see alternative, and, it is hoped more effective and more welcoming ways of responding to the challenges of intermarriage.
  —The Reconstructionist Spring 2005
• Jane Kaplan's nuanced interviews suggest that interfaith relationships can be tricky terrain for couples, whether both partners are religiously observant or secular in orientation....[t]his is an interesting and useful book, although not a "book" in the traditional sense. Certainly couples concerned with Jewish-Christian interfaith relationships will find this volume valuable. The interviews offer some good starting points for discussion among a broader audience or students of Sociology of Religion. Interfaith relationships can work, but couples have to have clear (and honest) communication about their religious beliefs and feelings. Nor should they expect a resolution that looks like their neighbour's. The interpretation of religious practice and belief are unique to the couples who struggle with achieving a satisfactory solution to the issues of faith and practice.
  —Journal of Comparative Family Studies October 2005
• Couples in Jewish-Christian marriages describe their experiences. The book offers examples of the successes and failures, struggles and triumphs of such religiously mixed families.
  —Shofar 2005
• What this book illustrates is that there are indeed problems in intermarriage, but that most couples come to an accomodation that satisfies both parties, and that Jews are not going to disappear from American life very soon.
  —Multicultural Review Spring 2005
• [I]nterfaith Families is a readable and useful reference tool for couples, their families and congregational support groups....[t]his is a worthwhile addition to any congregational library.
  —Church and Synagogue Library Association January/February 2005
• [T]his book works like a support group, The reader doesn't get answers, but discovers many possibilities.
  —The Dallas Morning News/Connecticut Post/DallasNews.com October 20, 2004/October 23, 2004/October 16, 2004
• These stories make clear that there are numerous challenges to maintaining a two-faith family.
  —Chicago Tribune August 25, 2004
• Interfaith Families: Personal Stories of Jewish-Christian Intermarriage is not a guide. Indeed, Kaplan specifically avoids offering any advice. Rather, she presents the interviews in a readable way, and makes initial observations only in her Introduction....Her observations are fascinating.
  —interfaithfamily.com July 30, 2004
• She goes beyond the statistics to provide a picture of how their religious identity evolved over the course of marrige.In the process, she ends up describing an enormous hybrid sub-culture of North American Judeo-Christian families, that differs "strickingly" from all other American Jews.
  —JPOST.COM July 11, 2004
• [B]rings to life the subtleties and the process of ongoing familial negotiations behind dry intermarriage statistics....puts to rest the notion that intermarriage means the doubling of the Jewish community, rather than its destruction.
  —Jerusalem Post

• Endorsement From Mary Helene Rosenbaum
  Director, Dovetail Institute for Interfaith Family Resources: Puts flesh on the bare bones of the statistics about Jewish/Christian intermarriage. Jane Kaplan has chosen people with a variety of approaches to the subject, and shaped their narratives deftly and unobtrusively into an engrossing and useful book.
• Endorsement From Sheila C. Gordon, Ph.D.
  President, Interfaith Community Inc.: This book puts a human face on the challenges of being a dual-faith family. Reading it, couples will gain insight and comfort, and clergy will learn of their pain and conflicts. Its sensitive portrayals of couples--often isolated and struggling on their own--suggests the need for new institutions to support these uncharted journeys.
• Endorsement From Alex Kotlowitz
  author of There Are No Children Here: Testament to the power of personal narrative. These provocative stories, I'm sure, will resonate with those who have wrestled with matters of faith and family. These varied, honest voices will undoubtedly prod readers to consider how one goes about reconciling love and religion.
• Endorsement From Mary Jo Barrett,
  Director of Training
  Center for Contextual Change
  University of Chicago: ...I have used Jane Kaplan's book to bring real people's stories into the room while helping couples and families in the process of understanding and making interfaith decisions. The book helps folks hear struggles, thoughts, feelings, conflicts, and joys of others in similar positions. Hearing these stories creates a support group for each and every person. In the book, there is always someone in which to identify. There is always some alternative that is new and creative. There is always one story to help soothe a struggle....

Table of Contents:

• Acknowledgments
• Introduction
• Choosing a Jewish Family Life
• Choosing a Christian Family Life
• Finding a Way to Have Both
• Looking for Alternatives
• Deciding to Convert